
The details of each Boom Boom kicker in 2022
This is the story behind the story... how did these kickers do as fantasy assets?
Segments, full text, and performance stats
I'm breaking off something fresh, seeing who can mesh
looking for a new boom boom broseph
but to be in my crew i need something from you
to start the Vikings Greg Joseph
I'm on a journey, putting fools on a gurney
looking for a boom boom best bae
better not be fronting lest you be stunting
go with the Rams Matt gay
it's time to embark, call me Tony Stark
as i am the one who panders
I flew to Miami, put on matching jammies
with a Jason last name Sanders
Jason took a plunge in treading water
to London to kick some boom boom butts
to pay respect for the Queen Her Majesty supreme,
just take the Saints will Lutz
London felt nice so I said let's stay twice
whatever England's laws be on Horseback
like Revere shouting Brits dey here
victories with the Packers Mason Crosby
Leaving the old Island I blasted off in style and drifted slowly towards the near Sun becoming a blaze of glory, a dark turn in this Boom Boom story yelling too field goals for McPherson
Engulfed in flames I began to change
I guess you could call it luck
yep the boom boom Inferno, a star like Van Gogh yo
kicking it with the Bucs Ryan Succop
Fully formed from the Sun I began to run
and I don't want to sound too crass
but my body was hearty looking like Tom Hardy
while playing the bills Tyler Bass
Ripped and shredded I soon was headed to an evil lair to put out some fires, a mysterious villain was there chilling holding hostage the Seahawks Jason Myers
Faced with a bossman I called on the Foot Clan
lest I be utterly fooled
from Gondor I raised a horn amazed thirty thousand
to battle Robbie Gould
Mr. Gould began to chuckle my knees began to buckle
had me shaking like Shaggy and Scooby-Doo
but a Horseman made him blind like Gandalf he shined
down the mountain was Younghoe Koo
Mr Gould's rage increased thus he summoned his Beast
an ornery Megalodon awoke
he gobbled our troops and made them shark poops
even the Patriots Nick Folk
I sunk in utter Panic like the Titanic in the Atlantic
worried about my boom boom bloodline
stunned I was simply blutterbunged
as I floated next to my buddy Greg Zuerline
I was picked up like a baby was I uncomfortable, maybe
burgled by a seafaring kicker
he took me to the mart, I was traded for two cups of farts
taken by one Cameron Dicker
Sold for pure stink I was locked in the clink
with two cellmates fully boxed in
I made a plan to strike with fart bags named Andy and Mike
to bum rush Chase McLaughlin
It was like a beautiful dream a buffed up wrestling team
as our enemies shouted oh no
from the top rope like pure art, a trifecta Power Bomb of shart
vanquishing the one Graham Gano
A Boom Boom Trio emerged, some say destiny converged
to heights like the great Sean Bradley
I began this journey alone, but now it's full of testosterone
much like the Lions Michael Badgley
Three buddies valiantly forged together
but stories can change just like the weather
Three's a company I heard someone once said
but this trio became a duo once somebody bled
for Andy was stabbed by the blade of Mike
treason and tragedy were felt alike
but Mike is not the hero of this diddy doo
he fell victim of a fatal Chipotle poo
So long Tucker, Gould, and Butker too
good riddance McPherson and Younghoe Koo
for I'm the boom boom, the true Marvel of the show
kickers are hot farts and you should let those bad boys go